Friday, March 23, 2007
We all have memories, some razor sharp, some hazy,some solidly behind the walls we build, but they are inescapably ours. This blog will share them with you, and welcome your response. So let us begin.
Zora. Her name was Zora. She was my mother. In all my many years, I never knew of another Zora other than her godmother. That woman died long before I was born. That Mother had a godmother always struck me as incongruous. Granted her godmother was the wife of my grandfather’s employer, it was still puzzling. Granddad was far from politically astute so I ponder it still. Somehow it doesn’t fit with the fundamentalist Methodist doctrine that I observed. Catholics have godmothers and godfathers. My grandparents claimed to hate Catholicism and were suspicious of ‘papists’. Having godparents just doesn’t fit.
There are advantages and disadvantages of having a unique name. Anyone who ever knew mother knew immediately that ‘Zora’ referred particularly to her. Gossip, good, bad or indifferent referred specifically to her. She really didn’t need a last name in that sense. I suppose it made things easier since mother divorced the first husband and outlived two others. However, if you are thinking that her name was what made Mother unique, you would be missing the bet.
Mother was unique in many ways. She was feisty, fierce and brave. She was a flirt, a Kansas version of the southern belle. She was wise; she was foolish and headstrong. She was loving but could turn and charge like an enraged bull. She was clever and smart but self-deprecating. It has occurred to me that Mother felt that she must hide her intelligence. I believe she considered it unfeminine to be intelligent. She also felt I should hide my intelligence. It genuinely alarmed her if I stated a strong opinion. She worried that I might be considered ‘aggressive’, and she would chide me about it. It was a man’s world, and I should understand my place in it as a female.
I’ve read that naming affects our lives in particular because other people have expectations based on our names. There have been educational studies done that indicate that teachers in particular often set expectations for a student based on the child’s name. I’ve often wondered how well Mother did in school, and how her teachers might have reacted, but back in the 1920s when Mother was attending country schools, the teachers probably had more to concern them than a child’s name. The one-room schools were remote, drafty and lacked electricity or any heating other than a pot-bellied iron stove. There was no janitor. The teacher did everything. Some of the students were as big or bigger than the teacher and nearly as old. It was a tough assignment.
I think Mother loved school. Her goal for her children was for us to have a high school education. Granddad did not believe in educating children other than to teach them the Bible. Kansas required education through the eighth grade. Granddad referred to the Kansas government as Caesar. He would render unto Caesar that which was Caesar’s. So my Mother and her older brother were limited to eight grades. Schooling was worldly, and high schooling was too worldly by far. Mother and her brother, Victor, then fought for the other four children to have more education.
Actually given their respective personalities, it would have been Mother that fought with Granddad. There was a special bond between them that I never understood. No matter how harsh he was, Mother forgave him. He could be so harsh that she would come away and cry, but face-to-face, she would defy him, fight with him, and forgive him. If adversity strengthens one, Zora had every reason to be strong, and she was. I learned never to underestimate her.
Zora. Her name was Zora. She was my mother. In all my many years, I never knew of another Zora other than her godmother. That woman died long before I was born. That Mother had a godmother always struck me as incongruous. Granted her godmother was the wife of my grandfather’s employer, it was still puzzling. Granddad was far from politically astute so I ponder it still. Somehow it doesn’t fit with the fundamentalist Methodist doctrine that I observed. Catholics have godmothers and godfathers. My grandparents claimed to hate Catholicism and were suspicious of ‘papists’. Having godparents just doesn’t fit.
There are advantages and disadvantages of having a unique name. Anyone who ever knew mother knew immediately that ‘Zora’ referred particularly to her. Gossip, good, bad or indifferent referred specifically to her. She really didn’t need a last name in that sense. I suppose it made things easier since mother divorced the first husband and outlived two others. However, if you are thinking that her name was what made Mother unique, you would be missing the bet.
Mother was unique in many ways. She was feisty, fierce and brave. She was a flirt, a Kansas version of the southern belle. She was wise; she was foolish and headstrong. She was loving but could turn and charge like an enraged bull. She was clever and smart but self-deprecating. It has occurred to me that Mother felt that she must hide her intelligence. I believe she considered it unfeminine to be intelligent. She also felt I should hide my intelligence. It genuinely alarmed her if I stated a strong opinion. She worried that I might be considered ‘aggressive’, and she would chide me about it. It was a man’s world, and I should understand my place in it as a female.
I’ve read that naming affects our lives in particular because other people have expectations based on our names. There have been educational studies done that indicate that teachers in particular often set expectations for a student based on the child’s name. I’ve often wondered how well Mother did in school, and how her teachers might have reacted, but back in the 1920s when Mother was attending country schools, the teachers probably had more to concern them than a child’s name. The one-room schools were remote, drafty and lacked electricity or any heating other than a pot-bellied iron stove. There was no janitor. The teacher did everything. Some of the students were as big or bigger than the teacher and nearly as old. It was a tough assignment.
I think Mother loved school. Her goal for her children was for us to have a high school education. Granddad did not believe in educating children other than to teach them the Bible. Kansas required education through the eighth grade. Granddad referred to the Kansas government as Caesar. He would render unto Caesar that which was Caesar’s. So my Mother and her older brother were limited to eight grades. Schooling was worldly, and high schooling was too worldly by far. Mother and her brother, Victor, then fought for the other four children to have more education.
Actually given their respective personalities, it would have been Mother that fought with Granddad. There was a special bond between them that I never understood. No matter how harsh he was, Mother forgave him. He could be so harsh that she would come away and cry, but face-to-face, she would defy him, fight with him, and forgive him. If adversity strengthens one, Zora had every reason to be strong, and she was. I learned never to underestimate her.
# posted by pgreene @ 9:55 PM 
